Are 40′s the new 30′s? – Volume 16

For older volumes please visit:
http://blogs.myspace.com/sarahgarcia74

(Author’s disclaimer: All characters dipicted are fictional and not related to any real events…or are they?)

Contributed by an almost 40 year old woman who’s over analyzing everything.

As days go by and my 40th approaches, I find myself pondering a lot of things. Such as all the men I could’ve married (not all in regret) and all the men I slept with (again not all in regret). One number is a lot larger than the other but at this point in life, who’s really counting?

Recently, I’m questioning if 40′s are to men what 30′s are to women.

Some men seem to be trying to beat their own version of a biological clock. Physically, some of them seem to be going through a manly menopause too. They are irritable, set in their ways and justify everything they do. Others are losing hair from their heads and growing more in other places. I will even go as far as stating that their chests are falling and bulging out their bellies, kind of like the sagging boobs effect.

Weirdly enough, in the last year I have been propositioned by a variety of men in their 40’s, not for my bodacious curves or witty personality. Ironically enough it’s simply for my ovaries and some type of final stepping-stone in life. I probably wouldn’t have flinched at such opportunities in my 20′s but to tell you the truth, now that I’m over the mid-30 hump things are not just about being good on paper.

As if the proposal is not strange enough, they actually think I would consider it. Although, I actually find it quite insulting, I merely giggle and question them, “Why me and not some young gal in her 20′s?” Their simple responses all resemble the following, “Well, you know me and I know you, we seem to get along and been through our crazy years, I think you would be good to have a baby with,..blah, blah, blah”

Honestly, I’m not even sure if I want a child or can even conceive one. I keep hearing of all the extra tests my friends have to take because they are over 35 years old and my guy friends are starting to talk about their own special tests that include some sort of finger probing.

But yet, I have had three distinct proposals by men near/over 40. Men I have known for quite some time and whom I would have jumped on at their prime…but now, I’m not so sure. I mean, they just don’t seem sincere and as they said, I’m over my crazy years.

Seriously, they only seem to be tired of looking for “the one”. I can’t blame them, I have been looking for “the one” too but I have come to terms that he may not bring me kids or marriage, hell he might never come. And well, I’m ok with that…

What I’m not ok with is that some consider me as a happy medium, a nice compromise or in worst cases the only one still available. I mean, just because I’m single, it doesn’t mean I’m desperate to have kids or ready to compromise. It just means I’m still single. That’s all…(or so I’d like to think)

Either way…I’m not about to compromise because HIS biological clock is ticking and he’s good on paper. And honestly, is his clock really ticking? Or has he just noticed a decrease in his sex drive and wonders about who will have him once it’s gone? Even worse, who will be there to take care of him in the long run?

From my perspective, maybe 40′s are the reversed 30′s. While 40-year-old men are looking for wives, 40-year-old women are now being labeled as cougars. Funny enough, the closer I get to 40, the more that the younger guys seem to approach me. Not sure if its because they have some wild notion that I’m rich and looking for a young something…or if its just my aloof behavior that makes me more approachable and open to the flirtation. Whatever the case…40’s are the new 30’s, except it’s definitely not MY clock that’s ticking!

No Man’s Island – Volume 15

For older volumes please visit:
http://blogs.myspace.com/sarahgarcia74

(Author’s disclaimer: All characters dipicted are fictional and not related to any real events…or are they?)

Contributed by two single 37 year old women exploring Catalina Island over some margaritas

So I have this cartoon in mind, I envision a small island with all kinds of men on it, guys in business suits talking on cell phones, a couple guys in wetsuits and surfboards debating whether to hit the waves, some sitting under a palm tree sipping on a beer, others drunk at a tiki bar. Maybe even a couple of them running or doing something productive like fishing or hiking.

All of these men encompass this isolated piece of land. They are oblivious to one another. In fact they don’t even talk amongst themselves. It’s almost as if they are there alone but somehow more keep dropping in via parachutes. The vision reminds me of one of those satire cartoons often done against a political figure or recent issue on TV, you know what I mean?

But wait, there’s more. Not too far from the shore, they are also encircled by women stranded at point break. Women on small boats, maybe one or two on a yacht as well. Some young women are tanning patiently on a pool raft while chatting with each other as they check their cell phones periodically. The more secure ones seem to be swimming laps around the island without taking a glance. But the majority of the women are practically drowning themselves because they are waving frantically from the small life savers they desperately embrace.

But within this scene, the men have no clue that any of the women are within yards of reach. They just stare at the horizon or simply at the item closest to them.

This is what I refer to as “No Man’s Island”. Let me put it to you this way. It’s the place where all men go to upon departing for a trip. Maybe its business, maybe it’s a surfing or fishing trip with the boys and it may even just be a visit home to mom and dad. Whatever it is, this phenomenon exists.

They disappear and these women are left dumbfounded, unsure on how to interpret the outcome or lack of. Some of them justify the absence and wait for the never-to-be received phone call. Others run circles around them willing to take them back if they ever resurface because, up till their departure, there was nothing really wrong with them.

I have come to my own simple conclusion. Men get easily distracted. The trip serves as an escape from the immediate matter. Maybe they get sidetracked one way or another, like another woman or lots of tasty beer. Hell, maybe they just gain a better perspective from the new or old environment. Who knows, maybe they just need an excuse to call it quits because they are trying to avoid confrontation or drama.

Whatever it is, I still think its funny how easy it works out for them and wonder if it would be easy to pull off as a woman. “What do you think?” Anyway…(sipping on a margarita)

You know, my satire cartoon would have a torpedo launched towards the ridiculously populated piece of land. I actually think most women would prefer that version. Ha! The “No Man’s Island” cartoon would be plastered on refrigerators all over the world! Man, I crack myself up.

(Waving to the bartender for a third) But seriously, which woman have you been, the one checking her phone or on the mini lifesaver?

The Break Up: Evolving or Disillusioned? – Volume 14

For older volumes please visit: http://blogs.myspace.com/sarahgarcia74
(Author's disclaimer: All characters dipicted are fictional and not related to any real events...or are they?)

Contributed by a disillusioned but hopeful thirty-eight year old in Southern California

Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth believing in. It seems pointless and naïve. Funny, how we doubt and analyze our lives when someone else chooses to end the relationship.

I was once advised by a man, who has been married to the same women since he was seventeen (over 33 years of marriage), that I needed to be less picky and focus on stability. Said the man who never dated!

In fact, now that I think back, I’ve been told a lot of things by men who try to figure out why I’m still single or even better, when I’m told by those who break up with me that I’m still a wonderful woman or that they have learned a lot from me. It reminds me of that book, “If I’m so wonderful, why am I still single?”

But honestly, I know why I’m still single. It’s because I haven’t stopped dreaming. I believe love is eternal, not easy, but definitely everlasting. And if a relationship can’t make it through the tribulations of a career, life goals or even evolving ambition, then how is anyone going to grow old with me?

Our paths don’t have to be the same, but they definitely have to be parallel with the occasional bridge for support. In my case, a shared hobby would be nice. I do have many to choose from, we all do, and it’s just that sometimes we give in just to have the temporary companionship.

I guess we all have been at fault of compromising ourselves to make the relationship work for the sake of the romantic ideas that exist in our heads. But then it happens. Reality, comparisons, competition to be the one who loves more arise because you are just not satisfied, nor are you willing to admit you are no longer into it and fear to be the one to give up. So nothing turns into something, and make it deals become break up moments.

It’s easy to say we should just be blunt and true to our selves, but when some of us continue to evolve and find new dreams it’s difficult to define what is true. What happens to a relationship when you have one who is still evolving and the other is at their peak or happy medium?

Where does the relationship go from there?

I don’t have an answer for this one. I have never been there, only here. And I’m not sure there is always the same, my ideas keep evolving so my destination reshapes along the way. Sometimes becoming narrower, other times broadening so wide that it might come full circle. Meanwhile, my expectations continue to contract and expand. The only constant is to keep evolving, eventually someone will catch up to me or I will catch up to them. At least that’s the hope that keeps me dreaming…and evolving.