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(Author’s disclaimer: All characters dipicted are fictional and not related to any real events…or are they?)
Contributed by an almost 40 year old woman who’s over analyzing everything.
As days go by and my 40th approaches, I find myself pondering a lot of things. Such as all the men I could’ve married (not all in regret) and all the men I slept with (again not all in regret). One number is a lot larger than the other but at this point in life, who’s really counting?
Recently, I’m questioning if 40’s are to men what 30’s are to women.
Some men seem to be trying to beat their own version of a biological clock. Physically, some of them seem to be going through a manly menopause too. They are irritable, set in their ways and justify everything they do. Others are losing hair from their heads and growing more in other places. I will even go as far as stating that their chests are falling and bulging out their bellies, kind of like the sagging boobs effect.
Weirdly enough, in the last year I have been propositioned by a variety of men in their 40’s, not for my bodacious curves or witty personality. Ironically enough it’s simply for my ovaries and some type of final stepping-stone in life. I probably wouldn’t have flinched at such opportunities in my 20’s but to tell you the truth, now that I’m over the mid-30 hump things are not just about being good on paper.
As if the proposal is not strange enough, they actually think I would consider it. Although, I actually find it quite insulting, I merely giggle and question them, “Why me and not some young gal in her 20’s?” Their simple responses all resemble the following, “Well, you know me and I know you, we seem to get along and been through our crazy years, I think you would be good to have a baby with,..blah, blah, blah”
Honestly, I’m not even sure if I want a child or can even conceive one. I keep hearing of all the extra tests my friends have to take because they are over 35 years old and my guy friends are starting to talk about their own special tests that include some sort of finger probing.
But yet, I have had three distinct proposals by men near/over 40. Men I have known for quite some time and whom I would have jumped on at their prime…but now, I’m not so sure. I mean, they just don’t seem sincere and as they said, I’m over my crazy years.
Seriously, they only seem to be tired of looking for “the one”. I can’t blame them, I have been looking for “the one” too but I have come to terms that he may not bring me kids or marriage, hell he might never come. And well, I’m ok with that…
What I’m not ok with is that some consider me as a happy medium, a nice compromise or in worst cases the only one still available. I mean, just because I’m single, it doesn’t mean I’m desperate to have kids or ready to compromise. It just means I’m still single. That’s all…(or so I’d like to think)
Either way…I’m not about to compromise because HIS biological clock is ticking and he’s good on paper. And honestly, is his clock really ticking? Or has he just noticed a decrease in his sex drive and wonders about who will have him once it’s gone? Even worse, who will be there to take care of him in the long run?
From my perspective, maybe 40’s are the reversed 30’s. While 40-year-old men are looking for wives, 40-year-old women are now being labeled as cougars. Funny enough, the closer I get to 40, the more that the younger guys seem to approach me. Not sure if its because they have some wild notion that I’m rich and looking for a young something…or if its just my aloof behavior that makes me more approachable and open to the flirtation. Whatever the case…40’s are the new 30’s, except it’s definitely not MY clock that’s ticking!