For older volumes please visit: http://blogs.myspace.com/sarahgarcia74 (Author's disclaimer: All characters dipicted are fictional and not related to any real events...or are they?)
Contributed by a disillusioned but hopeful thirty-eight year old in Southern California
Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth believing in. It seems pointless and naïve. Funny, how we doubt and analyze our lives when someone else chooses to end the relationship.
I was once advised by a man, who has been married to the same women since he was seventeen (over 33 years of marriage), that I needed to be less picky and focus on stability. Said the man who never dated!
In fact, now that I think back, I’ve been told a lot of things by men who try to figure out why I’m still single or even better, when I’m told by those who break up with me that I’m still a wonderful woman or that they have learned a lot from me. It reminds me of that book, “If I’m so wonderful, why am I still single?”
But honestly, I know why I’m still single. It’s because I haven’t stopped dreaming. I believe love is eternal, not easy, but definitely everlasting. And if a relationship can’t make it through the tribulations of a career, life goals or even evolving ambition, then how is anyone going to grow old with me?
Our paths don’t have to be the same, but they definitely have to be parallel with the occasional bridge for support. In my case, a shared hobby would be nice. I do have many to choose from, we all do, and it’s just that sometimes we give in just to have the temporary companionship.
I guess we all have been at fault of compromising ourselves to make the relationship work for the sake of the romantic ideas that exist in our heads. But then it happens. Reality, comparisons, competition to be the one who loves more arise because you are just not satisfied, nor are you willing to admit you are no longer into it and fear to be the one to give up. So nothing turns into something, and make it deals become break up moments.
It’s easy to say we should just be blunt and true to our selves, but when some of us continue to evolve and find new dreams it’s difficult to define what is true. What happens to a relationship when you have one who is still evolving and the other is at their peak or happy medium?
Where does the relationship go from there?
I don’t have an answer for this one. I have never been there, only here. And I’m not sure there is always the same, my ideas keep evolving so my destination reshapes along the way. Sometimes becoming narrower, other times broadening so wide that it might come full circle. Meanwhile, my expectations continue to contract and expand. The only constant is to keep evolving, eventually someone will catch up to me or I will catch up to them. At least that’s the hope that keeps me dreaming…and evolving.
Thirty-Something & Single 